Paranoia!!!!

Good grief! This guy comes in today over 30 minutes late. Why was he so late you ask???? "People are following me. They've been following me for a while.". He was in the waiting room peeping thru the blinds out to the parking lot looking for "the people".

Look out folks! We've got a live one here!!

If you've got nothing to hide...

Today I had a patient get so pissy over taking a urine drug screen. Hey Mr. Pissypants: you signed documentation agreeing that you will be subject to drug screening as part of your being in a Pain Management program. It's to make sure you are taking the meds we are giving you. If you don't want to take the piss test, have fun going thru detox and withdrawals. I know for a fact you are not taking your meds, that means you are selling it.

In the words of Donald Trump, "You're Fired!".

Bastard!

Gambling

I have a lady that her occupation is listed as "gambler". That got me curious. She travels between the Gulf Coast, Vegas, Tahoe, and Atlantic City on the casino's dime and gambles at the card tables. What a job!!!

Long Day

From our usual crazies, to the recovering cocaine-addict that I had to do a drug screen on, to office garbage.....  

ITS BEEN A CRAPPY DAY!

Goodnight all!

Hopefully more stories will come soon!

From the mouthes of old ladies....

Several years ago, when my wife was pregnant with our first daughter, I had the sweet little old lady ask me if I had kids.  I was happy to tell her that I had a daughter coming soon.  She just beamed a grand smile and said the following "golden nuggett;"

"With a boy, you only have to worry about one penis.  With a girl, you have to worry about ALL of them!"

How do you respond to that?????

To what lengths people will go to for their animals?

Today we had a lady come in who is a "frequent flyer" in the clinic.  She was complaining that she had burt her back walking her dog.  Did he pull her over?  No.  Knock her down?  No.  She hurt her back walking her dog after the dog had a knee replacement surgery! 

Knee replacement in dogs?!?!? 

Then she had to complain that her medication were too expensive.  My question, "How much did the dog's knee cost?"  "$3,000.00" she replied.  Hmmmm, what is more important here?  You taking the medications that are making you better, or a dog with a bum knee? 

Priorities?????

Welcome!

Today I had a conversation with a friend who said her son wanted a skateboard for his birthday.  She was worries about how many trips to the ER would ensue.

That gave me an idea!  After hearing these stories for almost 15 years, I ought publish my favorite stories that I have heard.

Sometimes, the "how, when, where, and whats" are the things that keep me going in life.  Better to hear their stories so maybe I can keep myself from doing something like that in the past.

Hopefully, you will get a kick out of some of these stories.  I know I have!!